Calgary Herald June 04, 2009
'We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.'

Dear Readers,

There are 271 awareness months and weeks recognized in Canada annually. How can we possibly be expected to acknowledge all this specialness! We can't, but there is one in particular that we can easily participate in each year.

June is designated seniors' month nationally in our country and Alberta has declared June 1 -7 seniors' week.

My alert, bright, well-travelled, stylish mother-in-law suffered a major heart attack this past Easter and has been in the hospital for six plus weeks recovering.

As she was unable to return to her boutique assisted living apartment due to the increased level of care she now requires, I moved her into a 'care residence' last week.

Her world suddenly became smaller, more confined, and my obligations have, as a result, increased.

In my selection process, I reviewed many residences that offered 24/7 care, spoke with the management teams, talked to current residents and was prompted once again to question what more could be done to make senior-living more enjoyable.

Security and safety are provided, high levels of care are offered, and basic needs are supplied (meals, accommodation, activities, medications, entertainment, therapy, counselling, comforts . . .). Yet still . . . an elusive something is missing.

What is it that you and I take for granted--that one item that enhances our everyday quality of life? What would each of us desperately miss if it was absent from our daily lives?

What is it that can't be supplied by staff or volunteers, no matter how hard they try?

What is it that can only be supplied by loved ones, by relatives, by old friends, by past colleagues, by neighbours, by you and me, individuals who have some prior history with the senior?

To answer this question, we must first consider all types of senior residences as 'homes'-- but in doing so, we must also acknowledge that as we grow older and frailer, our homes begin to have 'one major difference from our homes of the past'--they are homes where the outside world has to come to the resident, since the residents often can no longer leave nor fully experience the community on their own!

Now we can clearly recognize what is missing, not only in nursing homes but in the everyday lives of many hundreds of thousands of seniors--regular contact with a once-familiar world --a weekly, monthly 'touching' from us which demonstrates recognition, gratitude, acceptance, one that shouts out, 'you are still in our lives' and 'we are interested in how you are doing' and 'we haven't forgotten you'.

Are we willing to contribute a few minutes from our regular 'I'm so busy' routine to acknowledge this important week?

Are we able to telephone someone we know who is now living in a care residence; take a small box of chocolates to a senior in a retirement community; spontaneously compliment a senior on his/her appearance; share a joke or some news with a retiree across the street; mow the lawn of an aged neighbour; take a senior loved one to lunch?

Regardless of our age, we can be creative and find many opportunities to give the only gift a senior truly treasures--a small piece of our time.

As for me, well, I've invited my mother-in-law to dinner this weekend at her favourite restaurant, and I know just what she'll order--a martini (straight up with a twist) and prawns.

And at 91 years old, she'll enjoy every minute of that evening.

Do find a moment to participate in Seniors Week in your neighbourhood--I guarantee you, the time spent will 'fill your well'!

As Sir Winston Churchill once said, "We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give."

Good wishes, Patty

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KEEP UP-TO-DATE ON THE ISSUE OF SENIOR CARE

A 2008 study from Statistics Canada---“Elder Care—What We Need To Know” ... to read the findings and see the informative graphs of this study click here


Let's Talk - The Care Years by Patty Randall