Your mother, a widowed senior for many years, just phoned to tell you that she has met someone. Your well-established, soon-to-retire son has decided to remarry. An elderly neighbour in your senior complex mentioned that he has moved in with his companion. You've met a cusp-boomer couple on a cruise enjoying their honeymoon. You're in a serious relationship with another retiree, a long-time friend, and have decided to marry.

Or as happened to me recently, unexpected questions! You're having dinner with close friends, a couple, she's a chef, he loves wine and as always these evenings are enjoyable and cozy, when your girlfriend leans over the kitchen counter and in a serious tone, asks, “Patty, do you think you would you ever consider marrying again?”

‘Late-in-life marriage' scripts, like these, are playing themselves out across our country -- often and everywhere -- as a result of our aging demographics, our huge baby boom wave and most significantly our increased long life span!

And we're going to have to get used to it...adjust, acclimatize, adapt and hopefully accept and celebrate! To quote Bob Dylan, The Times They Are a-Changin'

It seems many ‘older' people are now experiencing divorce, cohabi­tation and remarriage and thus, a new marriage trend and label have emerged, ‘late-in-life marriages'—defined as a marriage when one or both persons are age 55+

Statistics Canada reports that there has been a general decline in marriage during the past two decades and that this downward trend may continue. Well that may be so, however ‘late-in-life marriages' are to some extent contradicting that tendency. They're becoming more and more common.

But first, let's be careful not to confuse ‘late-in-life marriages' with ‘late life marriages' which are quite a different kind. ‘Late life marriages' are marriages that have ‘continued into late life' such as that of The Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh celebrating 63 years of marriage this year.

Furthermore marriages may be co-labelled. There's the ‘late life marriage' of Herbert Fisher 104 and Zelmyra 101 of North Carolina who are also the current Guinness World Record holders for the ‘longest marriage' of 85 years.

Or another example, a Polish couple in Germany, a ‘late-in-life marriage' and quite possibly ‘the shortest marriage', having had their marriage annulled after just a few hours. (Following the ceremony, the groom decided to cut his new bride's hair with a kitchen knife. She objected, a screaming match ensued, police were called and the couple separated permanently, agreeing to an immediate annulment as well as a restraining order on the new husband.)

Then there are celebrity marriages which because of their duration Wendy Jaffe of NBC calls the ‘week getaways marriage'. (Don't you just love all these labels!)

But in Canada, it's the ‘late-in-life marriages' category that's attracting interest within families now because it's likely going increase due to a rapidly growing number of older people in our country .

According to the National Healthy Marriage Resource Center which studies the marriage-phenomenon (yes there is such a body, at Brigham Young University), we're learning more and more about ‘late-in-life marriages'.

One of the reported leading benefits of such a marriage is that older people who remarry are more satisfied with their lives than older people who do not. (That's good news since marriage is a complex social relationship which supposedly is to contribute to a higher quality of life!)

And it comes as no surprise to find that men remarry in old age at a much higher rate than women do... and that they get remarried much more quickly... and cohabit at much higher rates than older women do.

But the disclosure which is surprising to many is that when in a relationship, older women have less desire to remarry than do men! (Some suggest this is because they love their independence.)

It also turns out that people whose past marriages were generally positive even though a tad flawed (i.e. not perfect) are more interested in remarrying than those who experienced past marriages which were predominantly good or predominantly bad.

And the proportion of senior couples who are living together without marriage has grown steadily too. They report enjoying satisfying relationships and often view their living arrangements as an alternative to marrying, rather than as a step toward marriage.

However, those who are contemplating a late-in-life marriage have some unique issues facing them which, I believe, they shouldn't neglect. Elderlaw lawyers need to be consulted on the legal, financial, medical and family-related factors involved in a late-in-life marriage, such as these important starting points:

•  How to protect accumulated premarital wealth (e.g. properties, vehicles, collectibles, investments)

•  How to address medical care concerns

•  How financial considerations are going to be handled including insurance policies and bank accounts

•  The continuation of specific pensions and overall pension benefits

•  Concerns and wishes of any adult children

•  Existing grandchildren responsibilities

•  Actual living arrangements and all that accompanies this matter

•  Detailed inheritance issues

•  Wills, powers-of-attorney, advance directives

•  And finally, the prenuptial agreement

Who would have thought that ‘late-in-life marriages' would become one of the new hot topics in our country?

Sending warm wishes, Patty

Patty Randall, a professional speaker, media commentator and author, is widely considered a leading authority in Canada on all the practical ways to plan for your own or a loved one's care-years. To learn more v isit her website www.longtermcarecanada.com or email her at pattyr@telus.net