Caring
for patients requires taking steps into their world
By PETER WARD, Sun Staff , The Lowell
Sun, Massachusetts, June 23, 2005
LOWELL -- It's one of those rare times when it's
OK -- even recommended -- to lie.
When you care for a loved one suffering from Alzheimer's Disease,
there are two worlds -- yours and theirs.
“Oh yeah, sure, the sky is green. What difference does it
make, as long as they're smiling and content?” said Gloria
Brunelle of Lowell about her mother, Yvette, who suffers with
Alzheimer's. “Get over the shock.”
Trying to “correct” the mindset of an Alzheimer's
patient -- dragging him or her into your world of reason -- will
likely lead to an unhappy outcome, said Mal Allard, a licensed
practical nurse who has developed a presentation aimed at helping
caregivers of Alzheimer's patients.
Better to step into their world and work to connect with the person
emotionally.
“It's easier to communicate with an Alzheimer's patient
through their eyes, not ours. Place yourself in their shoes --
in the heart -- of the person with Alzheimer's. Look into their
emotion,” Allard told a support group at The Atrium at Drum
Hill, a 56-bed private-pay assisted-living center for Alzheimer's
patients.
Family members and other caregivers are often startled when an
Alzheimer's patient calls out for a long-dead parent or wants
to know the identity of a longtime spouse.
If a man with dementia calls out for his long-dead mother, it
serves no purpose to admonish him, to ask, “Do you think
your mother's going to physically walk through that door?”
said Allard.
Some caregivers initially think it's best to try to reel in patients
to reality, but that only “relives the death over and over,”
said Allard, and it's not helpful.
A call for a long-dead parent is really a disguised plea for reassurance.
“Maybe they don't feel well. See if he or she is tired,
bored, afraid, anxious, sad, embarrassed, hungry, thirsty,”
Allard said.
She advised caregivers to stay upbeat, polite and unflappable.
If your mother, an Alzheimer's sufferer, ruffles the bed sheets
right after the bed's made and pulls out folded clothes from the
bureau, don't explode.
She probably thought he or she was being helpful or sought to
feel productive as she did when she was working.
Try to recognize the source of angst or unhappiness, said Allard.
“Validate what they are feeling,” she said. “Give
them a hug. Tell them you understand. We need to address their
emotional needs first.”
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